I am Kashmir…they say I am “Paradise on Earth” but I can see myself as a victim, the fodder of the proxy war. My paradisiacal state is alien to me now, I am oblivious of what it was, the reasons being that past 50 years or so have been all about pain, misery, agony, DEATH. In all, what I remember are the memories that are scarlet and saline.
I was made to live in an illusion for a short while, illusion that I cherished of which now only reverberations could be heard “ Stagnation is over. Times are changing; opportunities are waiting to be availed. All my problems will be solved, as I will see my essence, my children happy, valued and touching pinnacles. But then this happiness didn’t last long and things took a bitter turn: the essence didn’t touch the pinnacles but lays buried into my lap. What is happening? Who is responsible? What shatters me is when I listen my children wailing-Are we doomed to live like this? Are we doomed to die like this?
Being the Mother, I can see that what all has been happening and what is happening, my children are caught in a dichotomy- What to do and what not to do? Where to go and where not to go? In all they have lost their standing point and I have lost my self.
One very strong sentiment running across the land is that of Anti- India sentiment which runs deep in Kashmir, its origin rooted somewhere back in the history of how India smothered the aspirations of people, the result being that they are now so conditioned that they cannot gulp any developmental step put forward by the Govt. of India. They take it either as “mask of bravado” or say, “they are doing us no favor”. With the recent Amarnath Land issue, things again boiled down to the demands that were put forward earlier as well- Independence from India or merge with Pakistan.
Do not blame my children for what all has been done because the past has been so dark that it has overpowered their psyche. They had no direction. They had no center and even if they had it, it had lost the power to hold them together. “Things fall apart, and center cannot hold.”
Leaders stood up to act as a center, response was tremendous, and awakening was alarming. But then what happened? The fervor of retaliation was cooled of with double pace as the center itself got fixed between the lines, the pose of concern once again shattered. The massive moment if directed properly could have shook the Nation (which it indeed did) did nothing except tears to the eyes of mother who lost her son, even worse my own self, time and again I am made to taste the blood of my own children.
All well, then comes the day of election; a time to put forth their great refusal of Indian Govt. But my children choose to do the otherwise. They participated in the polls. Why did they do so? The prime focus for the “played-upon” people is center that would cater them. They need permanence, a standpoint that would restore to me my lost self.
The anger seems to be already vanquished, what they need now is their safety. These elections might give us what we have lost.
It is not hypocrisy. It is rather an innate tendency: human adaptability to compromise and make the best out of the available circumstances. My essence is trying hard to secure its honored existence of which it is deprived for which it “will” make compromises and adjustments. After all Existence precedes essence in today’s World.
